I’d like to take this opportunity to explain how OCD made me think that I was psychic because of a closed gate….
This post is about OCD Magical Thinking. It essentially fools us into thinking that we have control over things which we do not, or that we are somehow able to predict things that we cannot.
Yesterday as I was leaving work the thought popped into my head that it had been a while since the gate to the parking lot was closed early (forcing me to go out a different entrance and take the long way around to the highway). I then had the overwhelming feeling that the gate would be closed that evening, which of course as I got closer I saw that it was indeed closed.
My mind immediately jumped into panic mode telling me that I do in fact have psychic powers and that when I get overwhelming feelings about my OCD fears they also must be true.
In the back of my mind was a little voice telling me that this is probably not true and that the gate thing was either a coincidence or that I subconsciously registered the closed gate out of my peripheral vision when I first left the office. But the little voice was swiftly silenced by the much more boisterous voice of my OCD telling me all my worst fears and feelings are true and that I should pay extra attention to them.
In the light of day I am able to mostly silence that OCD voice which was so loud last night, but it is still there. It will probably always be there, and I have to just accept that because the more I try to eradicate it the louder it seems to get. So alas, I will allow OCD to be there without giving it as much weight as it thinks it deserves.